A Tale of Two Sea Teas....

It was the best of boats, it was the worst of boats...and lets face it, how many times have the hags missed the boat? (Don't answer that)

  
So September found Talk Diva and Fluffie just aching for a cruise, and as thoughts of Royal Carribean filled their heads with rock wall climbing and cavorting with the sizzling, young Panamanian kitchen help, they instead boarded The Queen of Hearts on September 11, much easier on that Louis Vitton purse, ya know what we're saying. With their 22 dollar tickets (a gift from the buff Barry C) that all you could eat buffet, and Susan Morabito as the DJ, how could they go wrong?

The perfect antidote to a very somber day, as we passed the Statue of Liberty, seemingly larger than in the past, and those towers of light in the distance, but Susan lifted us up as always.

A very eclectic crowd, to be sure, especially the 6ft 4 hunk of Australian koala bear, named Andrew who came on the Sea Tea, all by his lonesome to celebrate his 36th birthday.

So independent these Aussies are. It must be the fact that they descended from prisoners in all those penal colonies, or whatever they were, who knows what went on there, but our Aussie Andrew, was not alone for very long when we caught up with him later on at The Stonewall, Aussie Andrew from a land downunder.....and we know he must have later....

But by the end of September, the hags knew they had one more Sea Tea in them.

THE LAST SEA TEA, always the most dramatic, a true end of summer, with too many cocktails and too much Neutogena Self Tanner Dark, causing that horrific dead skin buildup, hearing your body cry out "Exfoliate me Bitch"!

And who better to play our final voyage than the infamous Robbie Leslie. Howevah, as Gilligan, MaryAnn, and Ginger (Geza, Talk Diva and Fluffie) boarded the Queen of Hearts, they noticed another boat out of the corner of their of their eye, but it was more than a boat, more like the Fresh Direct truck with some of the most delicious, sweetest fruit you've ever seen, it was THE LATIN CRUISE and it was so hot! So Fluffie and Talk Diva ran down that gangplank, hoping to jump ship only to find out their tickets were NON TRANSFERABLE (how we hate that word). Oh well... 

 

So they mingled with a very fun group, from the Leather Harnessed, to The Bears, to The Preppie Boys, to those girls in stilettos, in their short skirts, that weren't even trannies.

Robbie Leslie, playing for the crowd, with remixes of Kesha, and Rhiannon just pulled it out for this crowd and that's why we love him! (Although we waited all night to hear Push Push In The Bush). 

But can someone please tell us, 2 Sea Teas and where was Rollarina?

Rating: 10 Big Gold Anchors