Hurricane Irene and Greenhouse

 

As Hurricane Irene blew into NYC on Sunday August 28th for the weekend (like a cheap drag queen in from Rochester NY, all blustery and full of herself) Bloomingdales had it's windows boarded up with plywood, no less, not even some high end Brazilian Cherry from Lumber Liquidators. Did we ever think we'd live to see such a thing? Gayadeddon. For Sure.

There were sandbags around the door of the Diesel store. But H&M, had no boards, no tape, no nothin'. Cause the sad truth is no one really cares if a $9.99 rayon/polyester dress blows away. Ya know what we mean? 

 

And who could believe that hurricane fashion would take the form of rubber hunter boots with shorts and skirts? Where was Joan River's and the Fashion Police when she was so desperately needed?

Unfortunately, the writing was on the wall, that due to the hurricane, the fab Sunday night party at Greenhouse might be cancelled.  

As we comforted ourselves with the Weather Channel, Anderson Cooper (stunning in this year's rain slicker), chicken delivery from Dallas Barbeque, and Grey Goose martinis in our living rooms, we couldn't help but think back to that Sunday evening a few weeks ago, to what promised to be an evening of dance, delight, and debauchery.
 

Speaking of Anderson Cooper, our own  HAL (Hag at Large) ran into him when doing her own hurricane coverage.

Starting with a chance encounter with the lovely Judy (who can never seem to remember who we are without wigs), it became an evening that morphed into a rather unfortunate situation. It all was caused by Fluffie taking a picture of an unusual looking man, with long straight grey hair, to be sure an oddity in this club of 20 somethings but blogworthy none the less. A man who looked like he was separated at birth from Yanni (that singer in case you didn't know.) So similar in fact that Fluffie snapped his picture, completely oblivious that he was... SECURITY.... 




Big Faux Pas since he didn't want his picture taken.  "You have to ask before you take a picture" he barked, all up in her face, so close she could see each individual pore on his nose (did he not know about L'Oreal pore minimizer?) He demanded that she immediately delete his image but she couldn't seem to find his picture among the photos of thousands of gay men she had been shooting at parties all summer. And then the unthinkable happened.  The camera jammed and the only photo that kept coming up was of her pet parrot Louise. That did not make him happy either. 

Most people in clubs love having their picture taken. Like the gorgeous Sebastian who is still waiting to be discovered.

 

So, to Mr. Yanni-look-a-like security person who Fluffie found out was a former personal trainer at Crunch (yes, that's why he looked so familiar) you need to get over yourself!  So there! 

Because HAG! You're so not it!

Rating: Greenhouse shall remain unrated until Fluffie recovers from this upsetting incident.

A Midsummer Hag's Dream

Saturday afternoon found us poolside at Casa de Fabarnos for Arnold and Fabio's annual Midsummer Hags Dream pool party.

We regretted that Michelle Bachman couldn't join us due to the conflict with the Iowa Straw Pole (we'd love to tell both the Bachmans where to put that pole and we're sure her husband would enjoy it) but we had so many fabulous guests this year.

It was a mixed hag, we mean a mixed bag of new and familiar faces. 

Some very fun girls and of course, those hot and hunky Scranton 5 which is now down to The Scranton 4, (just to let you know there is an opening and you don't have to even be from Scranton, Wilkes Barre is fine.) 

It's always so refreshing to see their buff, tan, bodies especially in their well fitting swimsuits.

 

As a matter of fact, someone's (we're not sayin' whose) swimsuit fit him so well we were singin' that Beyonce tune "To the left, to the left", and you know what we're sayin'. 

We did wonder how his cell phone was doing after he jumped in the pool with it, which made us ask, "Is that your cell phone down there or are you just happy to see us?" The last Fluffie saw him, he was in the kitchen in his little swimsuit (to the left, to the left) shaking his cell phone in a bag of rice to get the water out. Surely a tip found in Martha Stuart Living....(maybe it wasn't his phone in the Baggie, maybe it was his....?)

 Everyone will agree it was definitely an "awe" moment when Miss Bridget and Elaina, two of Arnold's discoveries from the Grand Union discovered each other. 

We prayed that if they felt the earth move while they kissed, it wouldn't be the porch collapsing like it did 2 years ago when Talk Diva and Fluffie had to rescue the table with all the booze on it.....

 And speaking of enjoying the pool Miss Bridget was having such a gay old time,she took a leap into the pool, dress, high heels and all...

 This was after she woke up from her power nap where she was passed out on the stairs...

 Talkdiva made a most delicious peanut butter pie.

And Fabio's cake welcoming her and Dr. B back home to Milford was absolutely delectable, moist chocolate with a creamy frosting.

Dominic made some killer Ghiradelli chocolate brownies. There were so many decadent desserts, Fluffie had to admit there was no way she was putting on a bathing suit afterwards only to channel Kirstie Ally in Fat Actress....

We always love talking to Patti from the UDGBLT (yes it's a mouthful. don't even try to say it with peanut butter pie in your mouth.) 

We talked about her upcoming yearly fundraiser, WIGSTICKS. Every drag act she booked last year managed to offend someone (some people just don't get the performance art aspect of a drag queen in a cheerleader outfit burning a cross on a lawn.) Well Patti, it'll be hard to top that one, don't ya think?  But we have faith, if anyone can do it, it's you!

Rating: 10 Speedos in Extra Small

The Mad Hagger Hatter Party

Thanks to Debbie Raia who relentlessly plummeted us with emails about A Mad Hatters Ball, sounding like it would be a great event -  a little bit drag and a little bit rock and roll,

Saturday night found the Hags at Bluestone Farm, for the Mad Hagger sorry, Hatter fundraiser for the farmers cooperative in Barryville NY, where some of the hats made the bonnets in the Easter Parade look understated.

You know what we're saying. Many a hat had many a cock on top, as in rooster and various other accoutrements. The highlight of the evening was being entertained by the adorable, delectable, country singer/ psychologist/ 4th in line as the Advice Guru on Good Morning America, the bring home the bacon fry it up in the pan and never let you forget he's a man the one and only Cooper Boone who does wear many hats. And he totally knocked ours off when he performed some of his latest hits in the barn in the moonlight.

Debbie was right. We had an amazing time dancing in the barn, eating peanut butter ice cream sandwiches and channeling our inner Eva Gabor, the glam and gorgeous star of Green Acres (as opposed to her low rent sister who years later would punch out a cop in Beverly Hills)......

 

Rating: 7 Pimped Top Hats, 1Kickin' Sombrero and 3 Fascinating Fascinators.