HAGS ON THE RUN

XL cause one size does not fit all!

2012-02-10T12:07:00.001-05:00

Some bitches never lose their mojo....so it was no surprise that the EverReady Bunny of gay nightlife in NYC, John Blair, with partner Beto Sutter has once again marked his territory with the opening of XL at the OUT NYC HOTEL, and what is to be the gay mega playground on 42 Street between 10th and 11th Ave, 42 Street which in recent years has become a Disneyesque, tourist embellished, extravaganza, and how cool is it that you can now see The Lion King and roll down the street to XL? Location, location, location!

We were anticipating the kind of hotties that we used to see at the Roxy, this was John Blair after all, who stood by the table in the Roxy rating the boys who were putting their names on the mailing list.

So we waited on a very long line, longer than the Rite Aid checkout counter on the two for one coupon day, as we watched Marcus strut up and down the line, like she was working the runway in Paris.Talkdiva, Fluffie, and H.A.L.'s (hags at large) Lisa and Geza waited patiently on that line because no one got their XL membership cards in time since the US Post Office has slowed down their mail deliveries.

Fluffie did get hers and was happy for the $5.00 off that it gave her towards the $20.00 cover. More money for cocktails, or so we thought...

And speaking of cocktails, getting one was quite a challenge since the bar was knee deep in people waiting and they could have used a few more muscle men who know how to shake those cosmos and everything else...

Fluffie and Talk Diva realized this is the price you pay when you leave that flask at home or those small liquor bottles that fit so discreetly into your clevage, or elsewhere......

The dance floor was steamy hot, but not with shirtless men, as it appeared that the AC wasn't working in that area.

Amanda looked tres magnifique as always, and the bevy of stunning beauties included Sherry, Dallas Dubois, Ephinany, and numerous drag queens who are fabulous but who's names evade us.

And there were sightings of Jake Sheers, and Lance Bass who really seems to be everywhere these days, unless it's those Lance Bass look-a-likes that keep popping up....

There was also an adorable little person name Baby Jane who was sooooo cute!

Lady Bunny, with a playlist as big as her hair, for whatever reason would not pose for the Hags at all, as she gave us serious shade, and ducked down in the DJ booth whenever we tried to take a picture. We hope all of you forgive us for this substitute photo.

The highlight of the evening was those hunky strippers who looked just like real firemen with their long hoses, and big rubber boots. Leave it to John Blair to always add those nice little touches!

Oh but wait, when we saw those four big fire trucks outside, we knew this was the real thing and no one was getting down to a thong!. And no one else was getting in either! Hardly able to contain our disappointment, alas it was our cue to leave... to move on to Barrage where we could actually order a cocktail!

Rating: 10 hunky firemen who all looked like XL's and one big shiny fire truck

January Birthdays

2012-01-29T22:02:00.000-05:00

So much drama in January....Michelle Bachman resigned from the presidential race and went off to the Tea Dance. Sorry! We mean Tea Party. Then there was the Heidi and Seal split, and that was no surprise since Miss Heidi's face is on TV so much she gots no time to give Seal nooky, Ashton and Demi went kaput, newly crowned Diabetic Diva Paula Dean of the Food Network was caught eating a cheeseburger (shame on you Paula!) and Fluffie and Billy celebrated their birthdays, a week apart, so they could each have their own fabulous day to be the center of attention!

Fluffie's Birthday, her 35th to be exact (on the Mayan calendar) started off with a small dinner of Mexican food and too many Margaritas. Included were the few people left on her list that she still likes.

Talkdiva baked a scrumptious desert of raspberry brownies, so pink, so luscious, so gay in their presentation. We also used this event to bid a fond farewell to Bernhard's hip, which was being replacied the next morning with a new fierce one, shiny, and metallic like a Rolex, guaranteed to set off those alarms at the airport, but we love keeping those TSA people on their toe shoes!

In Milford, the celebration continued with a delectable dinner at Casa de Fabarnos.

This is where we first noticed that Jym was channeling Eminem following an afternoon of tequila shots with the Gays of Sullivan County, who we hear are quite the thing!

We continued the festivities with a dance at the Tom Quick Inn, a potpourri of our very homo-liscious group, and local straight boys with low slung pants and backward hats, like The Beastie Boys meets Clay Aiken.

We have to admit that there is nothing more refreshing than walking into a bar and seeing our Miss Bridget all done up and posed for our viewing pleasure.

She looked absolutely ravishing in a form fitting red ensemble as she sipped her whisky at the bar while exchanging the latest gossip with Juan Carlos.

So Saturday January 21st found us at Billy's Birthday party, a mostly all male revue, except for Talkdiva, Fluffie, Debbie, and the contractor's wife.

There were a bunch of new cute faces at this party, that's for sure. In addition to the Scranton Five which are now the Scranton Four, we even met a group of Log Cabin Republicans, which makes sense since Billy and Jym live in a log cabin. We are always so impressed about Billy's ability to attract new meat. Sorry! We mean meet new men. Rumor has it that Billy invented a new free app for the IPhone called "Mantracker" which has a very sophisticated GPS that will search out gay men in a 60 mile radius. He's even working on a very secret one called "TwinkieSearch" , that will find hot boys in the tri-state area that are under 25. This app costs $1.99 cause we all know that Twinkies come with a price tag, and isn't that true?

Speaking of Twinkies, many thanks go out to Jeff who showed up with a special party favor named Dimitri. We especially loved the way Dimitri slid the serving knife through Billy's cake, cutting hugh chunks, cause we could tell Dimitri is so not about slivers, but likes his pieces of cake big....

Talkdiva baked Billy special cupcakes embellished with Bears wearing chaps and leather harnesses,.

These he could take a bite out of and not have to wake up next to, anytime soon. And as far as the Ghetto Cake went, Walmart was offering up a rather plain selection, but after we took all the "toys" off the kitchen shelves, it looked like Thursday night Beerblast at Barracuda with alot of well hung horses....

As a final note, we hope that Billy got a birthday gift that no man can live without, a Gadar Gun (www.gaydargun.com) complete with a homometer dial that goes from 0(straight) to 50(bi) to 100(so gay). This would finally eliminate all that guessing that he and Arnold do because who has the time?

Rating...

10 Strapping Stallions and one Log Cabin Republican as a Bonus!

A Happy Holiday Message From the Hags

2011-12-15T08:01:00.000-05:00

The Glammy Awards

2011-12-05T18:19:00.001-05:00

Two Sundays ago we had a case of the boreds

So we stopped by Splash for the Glammy Awards

Bianca Del Rio had her razor edged tongue

And we think you'll all agree that the crowd was well hung

There were trannies and drag queens and fag hags we met

And some sure were rode hard and then tied up wet

But everywhere you looked there were lotssa beauties

A ton of hotties
And a whole bunch of cuties....

The best blogger award went to Michael Musto
Who helped host the evening with a whole lotta gusto

They opened with Sherry and Ephiphany
And Bianca won for Best Comedy

Lady Bunny was working some really high hair
And that gorgeous Amanda was working a pair...

Dallas Dubois was so Cirque de Soleil
As she hung from a ribbon we'd just like to say
Peppermint's Pyrotechnics just made our day
And didn't end up like a peppermint flambe

The barboys at Splash
Always quench our thirst
With those bulging muscles
They don't need a shirt (or pants for that matter)
"Mimi I'm First"
Had won in the past
Was she destined this year
To be "Mimi I'm Last"
We probably missed her amid all those drag queens
Who came out in full force to see and be seen

There were drag queens with silicone

And drag queens that were hairy

And some of them so fierce
They were kinda scary

And without a producer
Just where would we be
So we'd like to give a shout out
To Cherry Jubilee!

Richard Granger's 2011 Halloween Party

2011-11-14T11:03:00.001-05:00

Not ever being one to let the parade pass him by, the infamous Richard Granger, designer, actor, and personality, was the Host With The Most of what has become a Halloween tradition, his annual soiree on October 31.

Where else can you find more than a few tricks, and always a couple of tasty treats (you know who you are) and watch the parade from his fab second story terrace where you can make as many bitchy comments about the costumes below without being heard, and we just love to do that don't we?

Especially since we loved the Occupy Sesame Street Muppet, and wondered what would make someone dress up like a giant used Maxi Pad.... As always the costumes were extraordinare, with our own HAL (Hag-at-large) Helen channeling Amy Winehouse.

The gorgeous and talented Patricia Clarkson was there, and so was Pee Wee Herman, and Marco as the Green Lantern, and that sensational twosome, Ron and Charles who chatted us up about their bunnies, including Ron's vintage bunny jacket and their bunny that recently flew to Michigan.

Talk Diva broke the wig mold this year sporting a long silver wig that she picked up at K-Mart for 2.99. GASP! A wig for 2.99? How can that be?

Well its the K-Mart Halloween Day Super Sale girls, so mark your calendars for next year! Our adorable Party Enabler, Geza, made sure everyone had everything they needed, as he ran from the microwave, to the bar, to the terrace, to the phone, stopping to pet Lizzie, Richard's Westie, he just didn't stop! But even by midnight he still looked fresh as a daisy!

Venturing out into the night, Fluffie, Talk Diva, and Geza decided they wanted to attend Suzanne Barsch's annual Halloween Fete at the Standard. With not a cab in sight, we were forced to hike over to 10th Ave, while Fluffie had to endure such name calling as "It's Lady Gaga" or "Look it's a chicken".

No you idiot, it's The White Swan, Natalie Portman, did you even see the movie?" Arriving at The Standard by 12:15 the people waiting on that long line were mostly uninteresting and recovering from their arduous journey on the Path train, clad in their recently purchased 29.99 dollar costumes from Ricky's, the same girls that dance around their pocketsbooks in a club. HOT! Although we heard that the crowd inside was stellar, the Hags and Geza had no choice but to hail a cab and head off, only to have the driver screech away, thinking a giant chicken was attacking his cab...

Next time, we'll take the limo.....

Rating: 25 delicious vampire bitten cupcakes

Jym's Birthday: Still carrying a sixpack and we don't mean the Budweiser

2011-10-21T21:13:00.000-04:00

As Hurricane Irene blew into town like that long lost ex from 2 summers ago in the Fire Island Pines, (you know the one one with the credit card in a permanent state of DECLINE) she brought hugh amounts of havoc and destruction, all over Milford, leaving Billy and Jym with 4 feet of water in their basement, forcing them to cancel Jym's birthday party...

Unless they wanted to do their own version of the Continental Baths which we know Billy thought would probably be a great idea, as he pictured The Scranton Five (or these days The Scranton Four) floating in inner tubes, shirtless, in the tiniest Speedos around the basement......

But it would take alot more than a hurricane to stop this celebration, so thanks to Arnold and Fabio we threw a surprise party at Casa de Fabanos.

Even though Hurricane Irene disconnected the bridge to their house from the land, but guess what? They have a backup up bridge, because two bridges are better than one, cause ya never know, you know what we mean?

And Chas Bono said he really wanted to be there but had made a prior commitment to Dancing With The Stars, but everyone else turned out to see Jym's sixpack which Fabio immortalized on the scrumptious cake he made.....

And in a tribute to Jym, who's hobbies include koi breeding, bear encounters, and raising pet doves, Talkdiva baked him the most beautiful of Dove cookies...

...which Daniel kept poking his fingers into their wings, using it an excuse to eat another cookie (PETA has been contacted regarding the situation with Daniel and the doves and he should be careful as they could throw a bucket of paint on him at any time now).

Be afraid....be very afraid.....

Rating: 10 doves and a fullsize poster of Jyms sixpack (which could possibly be an 8 pack if you look really close.)

A Tale of Two Sea Teas....

2011-10-12T19:59:00.001-04:00

It was the best of boats, it was the worst of boats...and lets face it, how many times have the hags missed the boat? (Don't answer that)

So September found Talk Diva and Fluffie just aching for a cruise, and as thoughts of Royal Carribean filled their heads with rock wall climbing and cavorting with the sizzling, young Panamanian kitchen help, they instead boarded The Queen of Hearts on September 11, much easier on that Louis Vitton purse, ya know what we're saying. With their 22 dollar tickets (a gift from the buff Barry C) that all you could eat buffet, and Susan Morabito as the DJ, how could they go wrong?

The perfect antidote to a very somber day, as we passed the Statue of Liberty, seemingly larger than in the past, and those towers of light in the distance, but Susan lifted us up as always.

A very eclectic crowd, to be sure, especially the 6ft 4 hunk of Australian koala bear, named Andrew who came on the Sea Tea, all by his lonesome to celebrate his 36th birthday.

So independent these Aussies are. It must be the fact that they descended from prisoners in all those penal colonies, or whatever they were, who knows what went on there, but our Aussie Andrew, was not alone for very long when we caught up with him later on at The Stonewall, Aussie Andrew from a land downunder.....and we know he must have later....

But by the end of September, the hags knew they had one more Sea Tea in them.

THE LAST SEA TEA, always the most dramatic, a true end of summer, with too many cocktails and too much Neutogena Self Tanner Dark, causing that horrific dead skin buildup, hearing your body cry out "Exfoliate me Bitch"!

And who better to play our final voyage than the infamous Robbie Leslie. Howevah, as Gilligan, MaryAnn, and Ginger (Geza, Talk Diva and Fluffie) boarded the Queen of Hearts, they noticed another boat out of the corner of their of their eye, but it was more than a boat, more like the Fresh Direct truck with some of the most delicious, sweetest fruit you've ever seen, it was THE LATIN CRUISE and it was so hot! So Fluffie and Talk Diva ran down that gangplank, hoping to jump ship only to find out their tickets were NON TRANSFERABLE (how we hate that word). Oh well...

So they mingled with a very fun group, from the Leather Harnessed, to The Bears, to The Preppie Boys, to those girls in stilettos, in their short skirts, that weren't even trannies.

Robbie Leslie, playing for the crowd, with remixes of Kesha, and Rhiannon just pulled it out for this crowd and that's why we love him! (Although we waited all night to hear Push Push In The Bush).

But can someone please tell us, 2 Sea Teas and where was Rollarina?

Rating: 10 Big Gold Anchors

Hurricane Irene and Greenhouse

2011-08-29T05:39:00.001-04:00

As Hurricane Irene blew into NYC on Sunday August 28th for the weekend (like a cheap drag queen in from Rochester NY, all blustery and full of herself) Bloomingdales had it's windows boarded up with plywood, no less, not even some high end Brazilian Cherry from Lumber Liquidators. Did we ever think we'd live to see such a thing? Gayadeddon. For Sure.

There were sandbags around the door of the Diesel store. But H&M, had no boards, no tape, no nothin'. Cause the sad truth is no one really cares if a $9.99 rayon/polyester dress blows away. Ya know what we mean?

And who could believe that hurricane fashion would take the form of rubber hunter boots with shorts and skirts? Where was Joan River's and the Fashion Police when she was so desperately needed?

Unfortunately, the writing was on the wall, that due to the hurricane, the fab Sunday night party at Greenhouse might be cancelled.

As we comforted ourselves with the Weather Channel, Anderson Cooper (stunning in this year's rain slicker), chicken delivery from Dallas Barbeque, and Grey Goose martinis in our living rooms, we couldn't help but think back to that Sunday evening a few weeks ago, to what promised to be an evening of dance, delight, and debauchery.

Speaking of Anderson Cooper, our own HAL (Hag at Large) ran into him when doing her own hurricane coverage.

Starting with a chance encounter with the lovely Judy (who can never seem to remember who we are without wigs), it became an evening that morphed into a rather unfortunate situation. It all was caused by Fluffie taking a picture of an unusual looking man, with long straight grey hair, to be sure an oddity in this club of 20 somethings but blogworthy none the less. A man who looked like he was separated at birth from Yanni (that singer in case you didn't know.) So similar in fact that Fluffie snapped his picture, completely oblivious that he was... SECURITY....

Big Faux Pas since he didn't want his picture taken. "You have to ask before you take a picture" he barked, all up in her face, so close she could see each individual pore on his nose (did he not know about L'Oreal pore minimizer?) He demanded that she immediately delete his image but she couldn't seem to find his picture among the photos of thousands of gay men she had been shooting at parties all summer. And then the unthinkable happened. The camera jammed and the only photo that kept coming up was of her pet parrot Louise. That did not make him happy either.

Most people in clubs love having their picture taken. Like the gorgeous Sebastian who is still waiting to be discovered.

So, to Mr. Yanni-look-a-like security person who Fluffie found out was a former personal trainer at Crunch (yes, that's why he looked so familiar) you need to get over yourself! So there!

Because HAG! You're so not it!

Rating: Greenhouse shall remain unrated until Fluffie recovers from this upsetting incident.

A Midsummer Hag's Dream

2011-08-17T08:55:00.001-04:00

Saturday afternoon found us poolside at Casa de Fabarnos for Arnold and Fabio's annual Midsummer Hags Dream pool party.

We regretted that Michelle Bachman couldn't join us due to the conflict with the Iowa Straw Pole (we'd love to tell both the Bachmans where to put that pole and we're sure her husband would enjoy it) but we had so many fabulous guests this year.

It was a mixed hag, we mean a mixed bag of new and familiar faces.

Some very fun girls and of course, those hot and hunky Scranton 5 which is now down to The Scranton 4, (just to let you know there is an opening and you don't have to even be from Scranton, Wilkes Barre is fine.)

It's always so refreshing to see their buff, tan, bodies especially in their well fitting swimsuits.

As a matter of fact, someone's (we're not sayin' whose) swimsuit fit him so well we were singin' that Beyonce tune "To the left, to the left", and you know what we're sayin'.

We did wonder how his cell phone was doing after he jumped in the pool with it, which made us ask, "Is that your cell phone down there or are you just happy to see us?" The last Fluffie saw him, he was in the kitchen in his little swimsuit (to the left, to the left) shaking his cell phone in a bag of rice to get the water out. Surely a tip found in Martha Stuart Living....(maybe it wasn't his phone in the Baggie, maybe it was his....?)

Everyone will agree it was definitely an "awe" moment when Miss Bridget and Elaina, two of Arnold's discoveries from the Grand Union discovered each other.

We prayed that if they felt the earth move while they kissed, it wouldn't be the porch collapsing like it did 2 years ago when Talk Diva and Fluffie had to rescue the table with all the booze on it.....

And speaking of enjoying the pool Miss Bridget was having such a gay old time,she took a leap into the pool, dress, high heels and all...

This was after she woke up from her power nap where she was passed out on the stairs...

Talkdiva made a most delicious peanut butter pie.

And Fabio's cake welcoming her and Dr. B back home to Milford was absolutely delectable, moist chocolate with a creamy frosting.

Dominic made some killer Ghiradelli chocolate brownies. There were so many decadent desserts, Fluffie had to admit there was no way she was putting on a bathing suit afterwards only to channel Kirstie Ally in Fat Actress....

We always love talking to Patti from the UDGBLT (yes it's a mouthful. don't even try to say it with peanut butter pie in your mouth.)

We talked about her upcoming yearly fundraiser, WIGSTICKS. Every drag act she booked last year managed to offend someone (some people just don't get the performance art aspect of a drag queen in a cheerleader outfit burning a cross on a lawn.) Well Patti, it'll be hard to top that one, don't ya think? But we have faith, if anyone can do it, it's you!

Rating: 10 Speedos in Extra Small

The Mad Hagger Hatter Party

2011-08-10T14:23:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Debbie Raia who relentlessly plummeted us with emails about A Mad Hatters Ball, sounding like it would be a great event - a little bit drag and a little bit rock and roll,

Saturday night found the Hags at Bluestone Farm, for the Mad Hagger sorry, Hatter fundraiser for the farmers cooperative in Barryville NY, where some of the hats made the bonnets in the Easter Parade look understated.

You know what we're saying. Many a hat had many a cock on top, as in rooster and various other accoutrements. The highlight of the evening was being entertained by the adorable, delectable, country singer/ psychologist/ 4th in line as the Advice Guru on Good Morning America, the bring home the bacon fry it up in the pan and never let you forget he's a man the one and only Cooper Boone who does wear many hats. And he totally knocked ours off when he performed some of his latest hits in the barn in the moonlight.

Debbie was right. We had an amazing time dancing in the barn, eating peanut butter ice cream sandwiches and channeling our inner Eva Gabor, the glam and gorgeous star of Green Acres (as opposed to her low rent sister who years later would punch out a cop in Beverly Hills)......

Rating: 7 Pimped Top Hats, 1Kickin' Sombrero and 3 Fascinating Fascinators.

Hot time summer in the city...

2011-08-07T18:38:00.000-04:00

The hags would like to apologize to all our fans for taking a small hiatus in July or a small hag-i-ate-us, since we were invited to so many hag-a-cues it just flew out of our pretty little heads that we hadn't posted anything in a few weeks!

C'est Domage!

So in celebration of gay marriage becoming legal in NY and Talk Diva permanently leaving Germany to move to NYC, we bring you, The Boys of Summer, from the Pride Parade to the Pier, with a special link to one of the gayest videos we've ever seen called "Hoarders" starring the one and only Tori Spelling.....

Now for some more summer eye candy...

Priscillia, Queen of the Desert Dingmans Ferry

2011-07-09T02:30:00.001-04:00

Just when you thought everything was going smoothly, that big pink bus from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert took a wrong turn and found itself reinvented as Priscilla, Queen of Dingmans Ferry at the 26th annual July 4th party at the home of Doug Cosh and Terry Talent.

Greeted at the entrance by Julia Healy waving a bloody doll limb, next to her partner Robert in a Dingo costume, Ms. Healy cried out, "A dingo ate my baby!". We are sure Julia, you were at least 4 cocktails to the wind.

As usual, it was totally over the top as every guest took their costumes very seriously. In some cases, deliriously, with more colorful wigs, gowns, makeup and boas than you could find at Lucky Changs on a good night.

Due to Fluffie's unfortunate hearing deficiency she came as Pussilla Queen of the Deserts.....

And for those who who couldn't quite see themselves in drag, there were more than a few Crock-adile Dundees spouting the line of the evening, "Is that a crocodile in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

To all those straight men who come in drag, with bad wigs, bad hair, bad makeup, and large gowns we salute you and say you are just awesome!

For all of those who came from "down under" (that's an Australian bottom for those of you who don't know), the evening's highlight was the auction to benefit Safe Haven hosted by auctioneer extraordinaire, King, featuring fabulous work from our local artists. Amazing collectible items were up for grabs such as Monica Lewinsky's Blue Dress in size 14 (Monica was a big girl) and a special piece donated by Agnetta from the group Abba, a carefully preserved one of a kind turd in a glass case. We don't know who the lucky winner was on that one but we are sure it would make a lovely addition to any home.

The prizes were modeled on stage by our own lovely Carol Bowman channeling Vanna White.

And some magical moments included supermodel/artist Paul Thomas posing morosely in a pair of Boxer shorts that went for a whopping 15 bucks.

We were treated to some unbelievably gifted talent, like Steven's beautiful understated interpretation of Katy Perry singing "Fireworks" which made us want to shout out "firecrotch".

Even Snooky made a guest appearance.

Vanessa Williams was there, straight from the set of Desperate Housewives. For many who didn't know, she is the separated at birth twin of Ed Hicks. You could certainly see the similar singing styles and body language..

As Doug made a point of saying, the show went on unrehearsed but truthfully who needed a rehersal, when we were all so entertained?

How they do it every year is the result of an awesome community effort, shows you what can be done with the saying "I've got some costumes, you've got a barn let's have a show." (and we hear Doug has a very big barn)

Rating: The one and only 10 Aborigines in Pink Wigs and 10 inch Manalos

Next Magazine and the Amanda Lepore Party at the Gansevorte Rooftop

2011-07-07T08:48:00.000-04:00

Who knew that Tuesday night could be so fabulous?

Especially when 2 days later on Thursday, Justin Bieber would be knocked down in front of Macys by adoring fans that had slept there the night before....Shocking really.

But we had those fond memories of Tuesday to comfort us, starting out at the Next Magazine Photography Award Party at the Leslie Lohman Gay Art gallery on Wooster Street (not to be confused with the Lindsay Lohan Gay Art Gallery)

We do love gay art, and this marvelous event showed the work of some majorly talented amateurs and pros including the adorable Jason Russo (HeyMrJason on Facebook).

He shoots at every gay event worth going to, a photographic expert on gay life in NY, with a totally stunning photo of the dancefloor at Splash but cropped a tad too close for his taste but powerful nonetheless.

Speaking of art, the Style Vixen "Sebastian" showed up in white patent leather 10 inch platform boots, a head piece with gold wings, tight white pants and white knee pads.

He rides the D train from the Bronx like this...

Please won't somebody discover this boy? Because he needs to be discovered...

Those Stoli sponsored cocktails just kept flowing poured by bartenders that were totally delicious, which made up for the fact that that we got there an hour late and missed the whores d'oeuvres

So we had to satisfy our hunger with eye candy but according to Next Magazine, you could come here and "get an Art on"....We agree....

Paige Tuner

So after a short stop at the Monster for frozen Margaritas, followed by a $1.50 pizza slice at Village Pizza, and getting into a cab where Sebastians outfit kept making the cabdriver say "it's people like you that make me love New York",

we rode the elevator up to the rooftop of the Gansevoort Hotel at 29th and Park for Amanda LePore's Penthouse party, featuring lots of pretty faces in a pretty space, with a pretty view.

We would expect nothing less from Amanda. (Unfortunately we had to leave before Amanda arrived but we heard she looked amazing.)

People wore some of the most inventive costumes we've seen, such as this Middle Eastern burka inspired outfit, using a sequined jockstrap as a nose cover....

Leaving early did prove to be tragic, for we missed Joey Arias, Jordan Fox, and Alaska Thunderfuck.

However, we did get to connect with some other nightbirds that we know and love, like Judy, who couldn't seem to remember who Fluffie was cause she's only ever seen Fluffie in a wig.

And we do hope Judy recovers from the experience soon....

The ever so stylish Sebastian...Won't someone please discover this boy?

My Big Gay Italian, Swiss, Jewish Commitment Ceremony

2011-06-28T06:58:00.001-04:00

With Gay marriage passing in New York State, it was perfect timing to find ourselves in the exquisite home of Cary and Kris, and as they said "I do", there wasn't a dry eye in the house on Saturday June 18th in Milford PA, at this very much anticipated commitment ceremony.

With two very handsome grooms that looked like they could have been on top of a wedding cake themselves, surrounded by family and friends, old and new.

As we watched them take their vows, rose petals came pouring down from the upstairs balcony which was probably a better idea than Jym's doves, which just keep reproducing but never get booked at any weddings because rose petals are a lot cleaner and don't fly into windows....

Anyway, we thought it was brilliant of them to register with our local Whispering Pines Nursery because there is nothing like a nice shrub to celebrate a commitment with! We just love the name Wisspering Pines, it's just so drag queen sounding like Gusty Winds, or Amber Waves, or Brooke Trout.

Fluffie was especially happy to find some very special dragon wing begonias to give them which sounded like DRAG QUEEN WING begonias.....

And a special shout out to Arnold and Fabio and Alan for helping to make the day so special:

Arnold for getting us the one and only Michael Rosselli, DJ extraordinaire, Michael known for his pulsating dance mixes at gay bars and parties.

Although when he started off playing those 50's and 60's songs that you hear at those weddings in Great Neck, LI, Patty from the LGBT was sure he had been up till three a.m. downloading a playlist from itunes after googling "Straight wedding music".

Fabio's cake was just spectacular, encased in tangerine colored roses with a peanut butter and buttercream filling.

Alan, who was photographing the wedding made a special point not to take pictures of people while they were talking with food in their mouths....

Thank you also to Billy for reminding us how we used to dance at the Paradise Garage and now we were dancing at Kris and Cary's Garage...

The tables were just resplendent with centerpieces of blue orchids accented by cans of Deep Woods Off.....

But seriously there was so much love for Cary and Kris on this day, we selfishly can't wait for all our other friends to think about "tying the knot" (or a fabulous bow, you know what we're saying)....

Those Lazy Gay-zy Days of Summer

2011-06-10T03:52:00.000-04:00

Nothin screams summer more than Billy and Jyms annual June barbeque, (or a drag queen with a broken nail) a festival of food, booze, boys and some of the most fabulous hags the Delaware has to offer.

We were especially honored this year when our own Cameron, showed up in his tennis pro attire, a walking Ralph Lauren ad, fresh from a match with Venus and Serena Williams who sent their apologies but couldn't make the party,exhausted after whacking balls with Cameron,

But we were happy to say that everyone else made it, (except for Arnold and Fabio who blew us off for Gay Pride in Asbury Park) including the fabulous Scranton Five,

who were now the Scranton Four,

losing one of their members to all of those butt naked bears at Hillside where men can be men and trees can be trees and clothes are optional, which was not the case at Billy and Jyms party (at least while most of us were there.)

Nothing makes us happier than a new pretty face, and we were delighted to meet Katrina's new PR intern, named "CJ" (we just love boys with initials for names, that's so hot) and we know he'll be a natural for "PR", but the newest member of the Scranton Five (Four), was absolutely pumped and adorable so we want to say "Welcome to the Neighborhood Doll"!

As a matter of fact, we were so overwhelmed by his stunning looks, we forgot his name! Oh well! And although we never found out who gave gave Billy that flamingo bonnet he wore on his head.

It was no surprise to any of us that Billy was hung like a flamingo

The evening would not have been complete without one little mishap, so no one was shocked when the refrigerator shelf with all the alcohol collapsed. No harm was done thanks to Gina who ran to the rescue and grabbed a beer while she was at it.

We would also like to apologize for not showing up with a really rockin' ghetto cake this year, but the truth is, by the time we got to Walmart, they were totally sold out, so we bought 2 pies and slapped some cookie monster cupcakes on them.....

Rating: A 10 Mosquito Rating (Cause if you were sweet they were biting) and one large bonus can of OFF DEEP WOODS

Night of 1000 Stevies 21 "Wild Heart"

2011-05-19T07:43:00.002-04:00

Photo by Jason Russo (Fierth.com & HeyMrJason Photography FB)

It was with great anticipation that we looked to Friday May 6, for the 21st Night of 1000 Stevies or NOTS 21, the yearly celebration of the artist known as Stevie Nicks.

We gathered at the Highline Ballroom to pay homage to our Goddess Stevie.

Photo by Jason Russo (Fierth.com & HeyMrJason Photography FB)

And although each year there are many who capture the "Stevie Realness".

This year the realness hit a whole other level with the video she sent.

There she was on the giant screen talking to us, acknowledging us, saying she might show up in a disguise one year, our queen had spoken, oh my heart be still....

Jazmin Flowers

But since she was a no show, we were totally entralled by our Mistress of Ceremonies, the totally divine Chi Chi Valenti who gave birth to this event 21 years ago with husband/dj Johnny Dynell, and speaking of mistresses right by Chi Chi's side was the unstoppable Hattie Hathaway, looking as lovely as ever, with a tasteful purse, a Victorian blouse, and a handfull of looseleaf papers with the order of the performers.

Who needs cue cards when you can sort through a pile of looseleaf papers, ya know what we're saying?

We're sure you'll all agree no one hurls a tambourine into the audience like that Hattie! and this year Hattie had an extra job, she was in charge of untying the the swing for the aerial artist! Whoa Nelly!

We would also like to mention how exceptional the audience was this year, dressed to the nines in Victorian authentica, very gay, very hot, and knowing all the words to every Stevie song, and real Goddesses, not those horrible Sex and the City girls who have shown up in the last 2 years because it was hip, it was trendy, it was fabulous, and they weren't...but I digress....

We love our performers who come year after year, Billie O, The HoHos, Divine Grace, Sherry Vine ( and you have to see her latest video parody of Katy Perry "Firecrotch")

Not to mention the sensuous Heather Litteer, Darlinda just Darlinda, the new Fleetwood Maxx,

and our favorite, a sick and twisted homage to The Black Swan, like it wasn't already sick and twisted enough....

We did miss our favorite good old gal in a plus size gown, Sweetie, and Bella Donna did you miss your flight from Santa Barbara?

So there is only one rating that is fitting for this night:

10 White Winged Doves and 5 Bonus Tambourines

May Day Gay Day: Saint at Large at Amnesia

2011-05-14T13:06:00.001-04:00

Lets face it. Lately when we go out we feel like we've taken a deep diva dive into the disappointment dumpster (stay with us on this one).

You know what we're sayin, mediocre music, a mundane crowd, and you find yourself humming "is that all there is"?

However, that was not the case on Sunday May 1st at the Saint At Large Party at Amnesia.

And how many times did we wish we had amnesia, remembering all those shirtless boys at The Saint and The Roxy and nothing cutting seriously close to that now.

But miracles happen, and it was like prime time at the David Barton Gym, and we are talking SERIOUSLY GORGEOUS BUFF MEN, with the most fantastic international celebrity DJ's, The Freemasons and Bimbo Jones (that hot dance mix he did for Pink's "Sober").

Thanks to Mark Nelson's discount coupon by ordering tickets online, we avoided the hefty door charge (Making it as good a bargain as the Barney's Annual Sale.)

And if that wasn't enough, one of the main highlights of the evening was this cutie who we met by the ATM machine outside the bathroom. (Location is everything)

Adorable Aussie from the ATM

Craig or Greg or whatever his name was, was a flight attendant for Quantas and we were sure it would be a blast to slide down the emergency shoot with this one!

Although he taunted us with this mega clubs in Sydney filled with fabulous hotties he shared a dismal piece of info about the female koala bears, saying they had horrid dispositions and spread chlamidia to the males (we don't believe a word of this.)

It's hard to believe while we danced to Lady Gaga remixes, somewhere in Pakistan, the evil mind behind 9/11 was finally destroyed. Talk about parallel realities....

This party is rated beyond a 10....it's a 20 bicep!

Studio 54: Again.....

2011-05-08T14:41:00.000-04:00

All that bruhaha surrounding the Royal Wedding- A guard being fired for calling Kate "a cow" on Facebook... The mystery about the designer of The Dress... The pomp, the circumstance, the style!

But since the hags were not included in the guest list for either side of the family, and Pippa Middleton claimed not to know who Talk Diva and Fluffie were, we had to settle for our own version of royality, the international icon of style and sass, none other than than Rollarina hosting the Studio 54 fundraiser at the GLBT in NYC.

What a stylish event this was, a festivity of hags, fags, leather and lace, and some getups, quite frankly, that fit alot better if you were a barboy in the 70's, but were not quite fitting the same now (if you know what we're saying).

But it was all in good fun as we freestyled, hustled and grooved to such favorites as MacArthur Park, (cause when you say Studio 54 you say Donna Summer) Boogey Woogie Dancing Shoes, and It's Raining Men (and it was.)

But what do we think of when we remember Studio 54? (those of us with any remaining braincells) The coke spoon and the man in the moon on the back wall of the dance floor.

Well let us just say that no detail was spared, with a replica that looked just like the original. The only problem was that it wasn't taped to the wall very good and it kept falling down, but who else but Rollarina to the rescue, our go-to-gal who kept it all running smoothly....

And although she may be gliding instead of rolling these days our Queen Rollarina sure does know how to throw a party!

Rating: 10 pairs of Boogie Woogie Dancing Shoes

Technical Diva-culties! Hags & Drag in Milford PA

2011-04-25T15:47:00.001-04:00

When we talk about the "Ladies of the 80's" show in Milford PA to benefit our GLBT, we have to say they were not quite "ladies" in the biblical sense if you know what we mean...

And as they thrusted, grinded, and shimmied, across the stage, we saw the wonderful talents of Miss Geo, surely the never talked about child of Judy Garland,

separated from her sister Liza at birth, only to emerge on stage as Liza's lost sibling, fresh out of rehab, and gracing us with her presence in Milford PA! (Where many come when they're fresh out of rehab to enjoy our lovely waterfalls and trees)

And let us take a moment to bask in the light of Anita Mann, prancing around as Cyndi Lauper in "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".

And we bet she did in her various ensembles throughout the evening that defied fashion and took it to a whole other level....

...the mezzanine in Forever 21.

We certainly had our favorite costumes, like the versatile camouflage that could be worn for hunting deer in the woods of the Poconos,

or perhaps a game of paintball along the Delaware.... Maybe this could be a whole new look for the military....

Karen Thomas is the best Annie Lenox impersonator we've ever seen,

a sleek, siren, dominatrix, cabaretesque, oh theres so many adjectives we could just go on and on..

and those gorgeous legs just flawless, not a varicose or spider vein in sight, its not fair!

One of the biggest surprises of the evening was Jym's magnificent tattoo, that he got in NYC while shopping in the plant district for flowers....

Oh those impulse purchases, you set out to buy a few begonias and 4 hours later you come back with 2 koi on your bicep.... But the tattoo was on sale and Jym could not resist the 20% off. He sure does know a good sale when he sees it!

Even though Charlie Sheen was too busy giving Life Coaching sessions to join us, our own local star, discovered by Arnold in Grand Union last July, Miss Bridget looked totally sensational, showing up an hour late cause she got her times mixed up, but radiant and svelte in her second skin spandex dress, and taking advantage of that golden opportunity to pose with Geo, Anita Mann, and Karen Thomas.

But the biggest shout out goes to Patty T, from the GLBT, the gal with the gusto, who made this fab show happen, wigs off to you girl!!!!!!!!!

Rating: 10 Pairs of torn fishnets and a bonus pair of Leggs Control Top Hose

The Griffen NYC

2011-04-11T02:59:00.000-04:00

We've been hearing about Sunday nights at The Griffen for months now. So fab, such pretty boys, such great energy.

But ya know we hags do avoid The Meat Packing district, longing for the days of trannies and hookers, now replaced by styleless thangs, teetering along the cobblestones of Gansevoorte, in Louboutins and spandex dresses from Forever 21...

Are we bitter? You Bet!

Were we wrong? Yes indeedy! Because Rollarina had told us this was THE GAY PARTY, and when she says it's stellar, bitch we run!!!!

Unfortunately we didn't run fast enough, cause had we gotten there at 7 pm like everyone else for the open bar, we wouldn't have had to spend $15.00 on Grey Goose on the rocks. This goose wasn't grey, it was golden! And we did that twice! Next time we'll just buy a bottle of Grey Goose at the discount liquor store on 14th Street and drink it on the L train....

But the party, thrown by Brian Rafferty and Shawn Mazur of Rafferty/Mazur Productions, was actually a fundraiser for the Anti Violence Project after an attack on a gay friend in the West Village.

The theme, "when one of us is attacked we are all attacked" was reinforced throughout the evening with majorly talented makeup artists painting black eyes and bruises for a 5 or 10 dollar donation, leaving many hotties lookin like they just left the Black Party and it's 2 in the afternoon....

But best of all, the tall gorgeous figures teetering in their Louboutins and spandex were men!

And the look of the evening was the black eye mask, very very Black Swan, we know Natalie would agree.

The most Hagsensational of all the masked men was the luscious Sebastian, all about style, with a stunning silver necklace that Lindsay Lohan would have ripped right off of his delectable neck!

With the great dance remixes by DJ Vito Fun, and yes he was "fun" (assuming that is not his real name, which is probably something long like Funicelli) this was the best gay dance party we've been to in a long time! (Although the hags were on hiatus in Jan thru March)

Rating: A perfect 10! (10 bottles of Grey Goose at $32.99 a bottle)

The Ultimate Drag Off

2011-02-02T08:52:00.001-05:00

When Fluffie decided to celebrate her birthday again for the third time this month because a girl can never turn 38 too many times (or was it 40?) The Ultimate Drag Off, starring Sweetie www.sweetienyc.com was the ultimate choice.

A competition of "wits and tits" (no we didn't make that one up Sweetie did) Sweetie was hilarious, but gone was that down-home gal in a plus size gown, replaced by a rather biting Sweetie, a pit bull rescue from a dog fighting ring in the South Bronx as she grabbed her victims in a giant jaw lock and shook them over and over, as Rita the butch psychic from New Jersey, and Jane "san", one of the birthday girls would attest to.

As a matter of fact no ethnic group was left behind and no ethnic group had a behind left, no Asians, no Blacks, no Jews, not even the Latino dishwasher from the coffee shop in Astoria, Miss Sweetie had a little somethin' to say about all of them,including the mentally challenged as the audience gasped "Mon Dieu!" did mama really go there?

With a rotating pu pu platter of sundry drag queens, we were totally entertained by Roxy Rockafella, Destiny Devine (and there ain't nothin the Hags like more than a black drag queen in a platinum wig) and the very Bette Midlerish Margot Powell who ended up winning the competition.

Margot actually beat out Destiny who gave Beyonce a run for her money with "if you like it then you should have put a ring on it". Fluffie was just thrilled with all those cd's she got in a goody bag for playing Drag Trivia. Was someone doing someone at a record company?

And the Hags would like the cast to know that after a couple of cocktails, they forgot to vote! Oh Well......

Rating: 10 pairs of Ricky's extra long false eyelashes

Did you Hear the One About The Bear and the Hag With the Same Birthday?

2011-01-23T11:22:00.000-05:00

There's nothing like a dynamic duo: Siskal and Ebert, Siegfried and Roy Milli Vanilli, and now Fluffie and Billy, both Capricorns, celebrating their birthdays on January 15.

We all came together for Fluffie's real birthday and Billy's "lets celebrate a week early since it's a three day weekend and I don't have to work Monday" birthday, cause as you all know, try to email Billy on a Monday and you are sure to get that out of office reply....but let us not digress....

Our gorgeous HST (HAG SUPPORT TEAM) included Debbie, Julia, and Claudia and 2 fabulous gals that knew Billy from work, when he is actually in the office.

You see miracles really do happen, because things were not looking so good that afternoon when Billy's pilot went out..No not the Air Tranny pilot from Scranton International Airport, we mean the pilot in Billy's oven! But all it took was the nice, buff young man from the appliance store to "fix the pilot so he could cook". We'll bet he fixed that pilot cause the sauce was extraordinary!

And so were those prime specimen's we have come to call "The Scranton Five" OK, but his time there was one missing, so they were more like "The Scranton Four" but still adorable anyway. We even found out one was a biology teacher. How hot is that?

Speaking of hot, Arnold showed up with the scrumptious Doug who would make an amazing personal assistant if you know anyone who is looking, because not only is he great to look at he's smart too!

However the highlight for Fluffie was when Billy and Jym presented her with a microwave oven for her birthday, because as everyone heard, the old microwave broke and she was forced to boil water on a real stove and still hasn't recovered....

American Pussy Faggot Realness Show Jan 9 2011

2011-01-15T09:21:00.001-05:00

Pussies and Faggots and Hags, Oh My! And so it was at the monthly (yes?) party at The Delancy, the brainchild of promoter Earl Dax who we can't figure out why we didn't meet him till tonite since we were so sure we knew every party promoter but, like trannies at an open vodka bar, we all came together at his art imitating life or life imitating art party, or whatever original performances that were happening on the two stages.

This included Penny Arcade like a breath of fresh air who we last saw a decade ago, naked on stage peeling an onion and reciting poetry, Penny who says it like it is when she reminds us that she can't recollect Lady GaGa being a downtown performer (and neither can we, so say it like it is girl.)

Gio Black Peter, rapping, falling, jumping on people who walked past the stage, while the other guy he was onstage with wore a mask of the pope with devil horns, so symbolic was the entire performance.

We only drew the line when Gio Black Peter fell on the mike stand and started bleeding. But he was saved by an angel in the audience, our own H.A.L. (Hag at Large) Lisa who dabbed at his broken flesh with a Kleenex....

Unfortunately Gio couldn't stay still long enough for her to get the bandage on, so c'est la vie! And it left us wondering at what point does a performance go from low rent to section 8 housing?

We loved the girl group that was, according to Lisa, "a cross
between Devo and Jane Fonda". Plus you know you can always count on Ann Liv Young to get a party started and according to MichaelMusto. She hurled her ceremic necklace at Penny Arcade. Instead hitting a writer in the head who filed a police report (Silly. Don't you know the police are all busy in the subway checking backpacks and diaperbags?) Could this be true? Mon Dieu!

Anastasia - The Fabulous Door Diva/Hat Designer

It was great to see that crew from B.E.S., the most gorgeous, tallest, nicest drag queen Jordan. Ron and Charles who we last saw at Halloween as Lucy and Cher, but without their wigs they looked absolutely pure as the driven snow (HA!).

Andrew Andrew

So wigs off to Earl who put together this eclectic evening of art and debauchery, that left us wishing for NYC in the 80's, and left us wondering, EARL, HAVE WE MET BEFORE?

Rating: 10 ceramic necklaces hurled at various audience members.

Encore! Encore!

The F Word at Splash

2010-12-13T13:34:00.001-05:00

For all of us hags who are Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys, and the Bravo Channel hasn't discovered us yet, we can only hope to channel our inner hag at The F Word at Splash, where even if it was cold outside, those bartenders certainly were steamy and so was this crowd.

When it got so hot, the only way to cool down was at the Strip Off, and who better than the lovely Amanda Lepore to be the judge as these boys strutted their stuff, and we all got to vote by showing our applause,

But the competition was so...stiff...it was really hard...like trying to choose between Heidi Klum and Adriana Lima in the Victoria's Secret fashion show, ya know what we mean?

So it was no surprise to anyone that the 250 dollar prize (Yes doll they gave money away go figure) went to a boy doing that old Flashdance number of Jennifer Beals (wasn't she on the L Word?)

He completed the outfit with legwarmers a headband, and a bottle of water that he poured on his head at the end, in slow motion just like the movie.

Except instead of a leotard he was wearing a jock strap (and we don't remember Jennifer Beals wearing a jock strap, true?)

But we have to say that all of the contestants were just stunning and we especially loved the winter look the bartenders were sporting, with wool hats and scarves and and a tiny pair of briefs, could winter fashion be anymore understated?

Rating: 4 Stilettos and a Jock Strap

Richard Granger's Halloween Party NYC

2010-11-13T10:26:00.000-05:00

Sunday October 31 found Talk Diva and Fluffie still recovering from Discuise the Limit party in Milford, but these hags will use any excuse to slap on a wig, lashes, and another costume.

So off they went to the village where no hag in their right mind (and no hag left behind) is going to let the parade pass them by.

Part of being at the annual Greenwich Village Halloween parade is to celebrate in high style and we do mean high, at Richard Granger's Halloween party, the debonair designer, actor, and alot of other careers that we are sure he must have had but hasn't told us yet....

We just love watching the whole show from his second floor terrace and what we love even more is the show that goes on in his apartment, with some fabulous costumes and conversation, like Charles who was channeling Cher. We couldn't help but notice in that one piece lace bodysuit he could pass for Cher's body double in the soon to be released "Burlesque"coming soon to a theatre near you,

and so much was his Cher realness, we were sure that if daughter Chastity, sorry, son Chas were to show up, he'd be calling Charles "momma"....

"Lucy In Black And White" was just fierce, the ultimate photo op, like she stepped out of an old TV, right into Richard's living room.

Even if there was no Desi, there was Eddie Munster, a gorgeous unicorn, 2 of the tallest men we've ever seen, at 6'7 and 6'8, one in a Toga, and one looking just like Jimi Hendrix.

The sweetest Westie Lizzie, who is usually the only canine star, had a little competition this year with a maltese named Joey who changed outfits 4 times during the party, because he obviously couldn't make up his mind which costume to wear.

The gorgeous Carol Lawrence of original West Side Story fame, looked positively elegant.

One of the more curious guests was the guy who painted the apartment who was a dead ringer for Willem Dafoe especially after a couple of cocktails.

But it was our masked marauder, Geza who helped bring it all together, so a big hag hug to our host Richard and to Geza who we are so sure when the night was over, crawled into his coffin in his long black cape, pulled the lid shut and said nitey night.

Rating: 10 Glasses of Vita-meta-vegimen

Arnold and Fabios Halloween Party:: Trick or Porn

2010-11-10T22:58:00.000-05:00

Benvenuti!

Halloween Candy Stripers

"Disguise the Limit" at Casa de Fabarnos.

Vamparilla (Talkdiva) & A Fluffie Angel Food Cake

It was the place to be in Milford PA and we are talkin' some serious costuming. From scantily clad vixens to 80's porn stars. This Halloween ran the gamut from the dressed and undressed to your wildest fantasy (or nightmare) as was the case with "Period Dorothy".

Kansas's Finest

Yes that Dorothy and not from the Elizabethan Period, or the Baroque Period oh no, ours was a cross between Frida Kalo and Pippi Longstocking, ( you can see it can't you?) She was a living tribute to those ineffective light Maxipads, and so horrified was poor Toto that we heard he was home hiding under the bed (which is where Dorothy's partner wanted to be, we're sure.) But Period Dorothy won everyone's heart with her little wicker basket full of skin cream, dental floss, candy and packets of Gulden's Mustard from the local diner.

Onda Fence & A Beauty

Our hosts Arnold and Fabio were definitely "on the fence" (not unusual for Arnold) in creations of wire fencing and tulle, so butch yet so femme, looking like an art installation at the Met or a drag queen caught in a Have A Heart trap.

Fabulous Fabio Making Magic in the Kitchen

Of our 3 hotties, Katrina, Andrew,and Jymbo right out of "Boogie Nights", we noticed that Jym was holding a very large tool (no not that one) a screwdriver, making everyone's handyman fantasy come true....

Roy Rogers, Dale Evans and Trigger showed up.That Dale Evans is such a versatile gal. With her baby blonde coif and double D tatas, she was last seen as Miss Behavin Queen of the Delaware.

Happy trails!

Not to be outdone, was a pregnant nun (that rhymes!), a Sandinista who was often hanging out with a one eyed ragdoll, assorted ghouls, a flapper, 2 mushroom heads (every party needs some fun-ghis!)

A Nun and A Guerilla Walk into a Bar

Eye See You!

Fungus Among Us

Roaring 20's or Just Rip Roaring..? Nevermind...

A veiled Italian relative who was dressed in black, like she was coming from a funeral. We loved when she lifted her veil to reveal her lipstick was smeared after 3 cocktails.

Beware: She Mates and She Kills

It was a fabulous array of fabulous costumes by all of the guests except for Roland who thought he could get away with a straw hat and sunglasses.....

And it was "love at first bite" with Talk Diva's devilish cupcakes and Halloween cookies, and Fabios festive cake, and a banquet of specialities as creative as the characters who brought them.

Rating: 10 screwdrivers and 1 bonus pregnant nun

DRAG (HAGS) on the Delqware

2010-11-01T12:15:00.000-04:00

It was a harvest moon in Milford P.A. Talk Diva, just returned from drinking far too much at Octoberfest in Munich was sporting a bad case of Jet Hag. Fluffie was recovering from a Snookie sighting at her gym (Crunch) where they recently shot an episode of Jersey Shore. Fluffie was further traumatized by Snookie streaks of orange self tanner left on the stairmaster.

So both hags fled to the 10th gayest town in America, Milford PA to attend the Upper Delaware Valley Gay and Lesbian Bi Sexual Trangendered fundraiser "Technical Difficulties" (is that a mouthful or what?)

Miss Geo, the star of the show was brilliant as she channeled Barbara, Judy, and our favorite, Liza, recently dried out but able to bring the audience to tears with her version of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". And besides being impressed with Miss Geo's channeling of Barbara, Judy, and Liza, we were quite surprised that she was even able to see at all after Arnold zapped her with a giant spotlight as she came out onstage.

And we'd like to add there wasn't a dry eye in the house as our own dynamo "Steady Mess" crowned the new "Queen of the Delaware" the lovely, enchanting,"Miss Behaving" (and trust us this was a tough choice cause there are so many misbehaving queens on the Delaware we've lost count)

Our new queen looked absolutely regal in her full length Narcisco Rodriques gown (not) and her Katie Holmes styled hair which was totally "misbehavin" as it fell into her mouth every time she turned her head....

And Miss Bridget was soooo the "it girl", in a full length crushed velvet purple gown. DJ Rico had the dance floor packed, as Arnold and Fabio danced their asses off (Arnold is still looking for his)

A big hug to Pattie T who has become Milford's best mover, shaker, and Drag show producer! (Don't miss our upcoming First Fridays and April 9th Drag Show) www.udglbtCenter.blogspot.com

Rating: 10 Martinis 9 Apple and 1 Very Dry with an Olive